The Healing Paradox: A Revolutionary Approach to Treating and Curing Physical and Mental Illness by Steven Goldsmith

Author:Steven Goldsmith [Goldsmith, Steven]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Health
ISBN: 9781583946169
Google: Bp7tgy-qM8IC
Goodreads: 16071850
Publisher: North Atlantic Books
Published: 2013-06-18T04:00:00+00:00

The sTaying-WiTh-iT PrinciPle 145

syntrofy, from the Greek syntrofos, for

“companion.” For a companion is one

“ The process of change that

who stays with, accompanies another.

results from staying with

Most effective therapists employ syn-

any experience, this staying-

trofy unwittingly and attribute their

with- it principle, i term

successes to other factors, reflective

syntrofy, from the greek

of their particular school of thought.

syntrofos, for ‘companion.’”

Psychoanalysts assume, for example,

that they successfully treat their patients when the latter integrate an understanding of their childhood experiences into their current lives, while behaviorists assume it is their application of learning principles that cures patients. But such techniques do not by themselves change people. They

are mere gift wrappings— ribbons and colored paper and glazed white

boxes stamped with the logo of the therapist’s favored theories, of value only because of the forces of syntrofy that they adorn and conceal.

There’s a story told of a mori, a wise man among the Yemenite Jews of Israel, “to whom a man came complaining about the fact that his house was full of mice and requesting that the mori give him an amulet against mice.

The wise man wrote out a scroll for this special occasion, handed it to the client, and said ‘Here is your scrol . Tie it to the neck of a cat, otherwise it won’t help.’”4 Psychoanalytic interpretations, desensitizing hierarchies of behaviorists, the empty- chair technique of Gestaltists, hypnotherapeutic directives, strategic reframing, and cognitive behavioral schemata are, if unaccompanied by syntrofy, as nugatory as that catless scrol .

Effective therapists utilize syntrofy deliberately in order to coax resistance from the shadows, out into the light, away from the dark side of

ambivalence, whereupon they can turn it into a double agent to do work

for the forces of change.

Dr. Richard Carlson, in his bestselling book Don’t Sweat the Small

Stuff . . . and It’s All Small Stuff, commented,

The more we struggle with our problems and the more we want them

to go away, the worse they seem and the more stress they cause us.

Ironically, and luckily, the opposite is also true. When we accept our

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